The Care and Pampering of Overnight Guests
Entertaining for a party or a meal is one thing, but having overnight guests is a whole
other experience in itself. Family members may come and go, but it is our true friends
whom we invite to stay with us who put us to the test. What are the rules of etiquette
when it comes to overnight guests? In addition, if there are rules, to whom do they apply?
Having a family member over repeatedly is a simple routine affair. Family members quickly
make themselves comfortable and soon take over your remote control and your refrigerator.
But, you love them anyway. Special invited overnight guests whom you wish to impress
should be treated differently. Over the years, I have come to enjoy the opportunity to
welcome my guests for an overnight experience. Here in CT, we have wonderful seasonal
weather that provides an excuse for bringing distant friends together. A visit to see
the fall foliage, a winter skating weekend, or a summer weekend at the beach can all be
welcomed mini-vacations for your city dwelling friends.
Only extend an invitation if you mean it
You will be surprised how years pass and that one person will remember your vague offer
from 5 years ago to come visit. Invitations should be well thought out and planned.
Invite for a specific weekend and mention the time frame: i.e. Friday night to Sunday
night. Be sure you want to be with these guests. Inviting out of a sense of obligation
can create a stressful situation if you end up disliking each other. Don’t invite business
clients unless you really adore them. Use your intuition.
No soap on a rope
There is nothing worse than recycling soap guest after guest. If you give your guests
their own soap, which I strongly recommend, please hope that they take it home. Mentioning
it at all would be impolite. Provide a couple of Ziploc bags in the top drawer. My favorite
soap is called Mistral made in France of pure shea butter. Handcrafted deep in the heart of
Provence, this delicately fragrant soap is made according to three-hundred year old tradition
of purity and excellence. I use it regularly myself. Contact:
www.mistralsoap.com
Be Prepared
Have the guest area picture perfect hours before your guests arrive. Spruce up the rest of the
house with flowers and other elegant touches such as candles or potpourri. Do as much grocery
shopping before guests arrive, and have a well-stocked refrigerator in an attempt to satisfy
individual needs. Have a full bar, plenty of wine and other beverages along with lots of hors
d’oeuvre. Always ask in advance about the dietary limitations of your guests—today it is
considered polite and caring to do so. Don’t get exhausted. Your guests want to have fun
with you! As the Saturday night dinner approaches and you just don’t feel like cooking,
then go out to dinner. Most of my polite guests in the past have offered to treat me to a
dinner as thanks for the weekend. Take advantage of it. Remember, you’ll be making Sunday
brunch the next morning.
Indeed, there are polite guests and problem guests. Most guests will jump up to make drinks,
help with the cooking, attempt to help you clean up and otherwise be the life of the party.
Other guests simply lie about, complain, criticize the food, not lift a finger and treat you
like a waiter. There are only three things you can do when you get these nightmare weekend
guests: feign sickness and ask them to leave, kill off an aging aunt and ask them to leave,
or just grin and muddle through. Your personal tolerance level will dictate.
Bathroom guest accessories:
(in full view)
Fresh Flowers (small bouquet)
Clean towels (bath towel, hand towel and washcloth for each guest)
Tissues
Cotton balls, swabs, and Q-tips in a glass or stainless jar
Room spray
Hand soap
Guest water tumbler
Candle and matches
(in a drawer or cabinet)
Extra toilet paper
Extra soap
Paper cups
Still unwrapped toothbrushes, dental floss, toothpaste
Disposable razors, shaving cream
Body and Face Lotion
Small hand mirror
(in the shower)
Shampoo, conditioner
Face and body scrub
Bath and shower gel
Loofah mitt
Bedroom Guest Accessories:
Crisp, beautifully made bed, at least 2 plump down pillows per person
Extra blankets (closet)
Fluffy white terry robes in one-size-fits all, slippers to match (closet)
Purified or bottled water in a pitcher with tumblers on the nightstand
At least one chair
Wooden luggage racks (closet)
Candle and matches
Flower bouquet
Bedside lamps for reading (if not already permanent)
Other thoughts
The most difficult part of having friends on your hands for 2 entire days is what activities
to engage in. Will they want to go antiquing or shopping? Will they want to play sports or
go to the gym? Are they card players? Do they love movies and want to see one with you?
Do they want to go to the beach or do they avoid the sun? Well, just ask them in advance.
Offer your guests as many options as possible and go with the democratic consensus.
Most people travel with cell phones, so it is not usually necessary to have a phone in the
guest room. It is your own decision to let guests use your home computer. Personally, I
keep it turned off because I want my guests to be engaged socially with me and the other
guests, not banging away on my computer for hours. If someone asks, say, "Of course, as
long it will only be for a few minutes".
If you own them, fill a bookcase in your guest room with unique and fascinating books, and put
a basket of recent magazines near the bedside. When I visit someone’s house, I love to look
through his or her collection of books.
After all this work, you and your guests will have forged a more solid friendship. The coziness
of morning coffee in your pajamas tends to bring people together. Having a weekend together can
go a long way to preserve and enhance friendships that you truly value.
And there you have it!
Read a question about this article emailed to Mar through the "Ask Mar" section of the site.
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